January Reflection: Unhappy in Your Job? What to Do Next.

We spend around 37.2 years of our lives working, nearly 46% of our entire lifespan and roughly 2,000 hours every single year at our jobs. With so much of our lives devoted to work, it’s worth asking: is it really an option to stay in a job that makes us unhappy? Your time, energy, and well-being are far too valuable to be spent in a place that diminishes you.

January often acts as a quiet mirror. Many people start noticing the emotional weight they’ve been carrying beneath the surface once all the noise of Christmas disappears. For some, that weight settles most heavily around their work life. It’s common for people to begin the new year with an uncomfortable awareness that something in their job no longer feels right.

Research consistently shows that low job satisfaction is strongly associated with symptoms of stress, lowered mood, irritability, sleep difficulties, and in more persistent cases, anxiety and depression. When someone spends roughly a third of their life at work, it’s understandable that chronic dissatisfaction can eventually seep into their emotional and physical health.

Personally, I've struggled with feeling lost in my career, it stopped feeling ‘right.’ It was something I had chosen as a child, but it no longer fit who I am now. After a lot of reflection and some very vulnerable decisions, I began to change direction towards being a counsellor, one step at a time. The first sign something needed to change came from my body. I was in pain with my spinal condition every day at work, and eventually I realised I couldn’t keep ignoring it. As I listened more closely, I saw how much of my work no longer aligned with what truly matters to me. Choosing change wasn’t easy, but I chose myself. I’m still in that process, and with time my anxiety about stepping out has eased. I’m already feeling the rewards of listening to my needs and following a path that feels right for me now and that feels like real happiness.

Life really is too short to remain stuck or unhappy. Here’s some steps that may help you consider what you really want:

Identify the Source of the Unhappiness

Job dissatisfaction can come from many different places. Spend some time reflecting on what specifically feels off:

• Is it the workload or pace?

• The culture or leadership?

• Lack of meaning or challenge?

• Feeling undervalued or unseen?

• Burnout from chronic stress?

• A mismatch between your values and the company’s?

Try journaling or speaking out loud to uncover patterns. Sometimes people discover that they don’t hate the work, they just hate how the work is structured. Clarity is empowering.

Support Your Nervous System (Especially If You’re Drained)

During periods of job-related strain, it becomes especially important to care for your nervous system. Work stress has a well-documented impact on the body: elevated cortisol, muscle tension, headaches, disrupted sleep, and a sense of emotional fatigue that can make it hard to think clearly. Because of this, taking small moments throughout your day to pause, breathe, or ground yourself is not indulgent, it’s protective. Regulation isn’t about ignoring the problem; it’s about strengthening your capacity to deal with it without slipping into exhaustion or hopelessness. Try:

Grounding techniques

• Deep breathing (especially extended exhales)

• Placing both feet on the floor and noticing sensations

• Holding a warm mug and feeling its temperature

Daily check-ins: Ask: “Where is my tension right now?” Then consciously release your shoulders, jaw, or stomach.

Micro-breaks: Even two minutes away from your screen can help reset your brain.

Name the emotion: Studies show that simply identifying a feeling (“I’m overwhelmed,” “I’m discouraged,” etc.) reduces its intensity. Regulation does not fix the external problem, but it strengthens your ability to face it.

Consider What You Need More and Less Of

Your values hold the answers to what you’re missing. We often focus on things we want from a job, forgetting the values that will really make us happy. Reflect on the following:

• What do I want more of in my work life?

  Meaning? Stability? Creativity? Autonomy? Connection?

• What do I want less of?

  Micromanagement? Constant pressure? Isolation? Repetition?

Your values act like a compass. When your job pushes you too far from them, you feel the friction.

Have Honest Conversations (Even If They Feel Scary)

Before jumping to a major change, check whether anything can improve where you are.

You might explore:

• A different workload

• More flexible hours

• Clearer boundaries

• Opportunities to grow or shift roles

• A renegotiation of expectations

You don’t need to march into a meeting with a perfect script. Start with honesty: “I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and I’d like to talk about ways to make my workload more manageable” Not every workplace responds well, but some do and even small changes can create big relief.

If Change Feels Needed, Start with Small, Manageable Steps

You don’t have to quit tomorrow. Courage isn’t about leaping, it’s about moving toward what matters, even slowly. But for real change, you risk vulnerability…. As Brene Brown (2012) says

“Daring greatly means the courage to be vulnerable. It means to show up and be seen, to ask for what you need.”

Here are gentle, practical steps:

• Update your CV or LinkedIn profile

• Explore other fields that spark curiosity

• Set aside one evening a week for career exploration

• Take an online course in a direction that interests you

• Talk to people already doing what you want to do

• Start a “courage journal” where you record small wins

• Have a coaching session to look at ways to move forward

• Have a counselling session to explore what’s holding you back

These incremental actions help reduce the paralysis that often comes with big transitions.

Fear tends to create stories about what could go wrong, but it rarely considers what could go right. If you notice yourself imagining worst-case scenarios, gently challenge those thoughts. Ask yourself whether staying in the same situation for another year, or five years, might carry risks of its own. Unaddressed job dissatisfaction can gradually erode self-esteem, motivation, and even relationships. Change may feel daunting, but stagnation can be equally, if not more, damaging.

Ultimately, trusting yourself is the heart of this process. You have weathered challenges before. You have adapted, learned, and grown in ways your past self could never have predicted. Even if you can’t see the full path ahead, you can take one step. And then another. Courage isn’t a forceful leap, it’s quiet, steady movement toward a life that feels more aligned and more supportive of your well-being.

If you are feeling unhappy in your job this January, consider this an invitation to listen deeply, to be kind to yourself, and to explore what you truly need. Whether you reshape your current role or gently begin preparing for something new, you deserve work that allows you to thrive, not work that slowly drains your joy.

Reference:

Brown, Brené. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. Gotham Books, 2012.